I don’t know, maybe it’s cause today’s his birthday that I feel like the need to write all these thoughts out and cause I’ve been pretty busy lately with homowork, volleyball, and basketball. The way the word basketball looks reminds me of him cause we first started talking because of this sport, and hopefully, this basketball season, it will change from what we are now back to last year (;
I remember at the end of last year, I always thought my life was beautiful. I have all these amazing friends and that I love to play volleyball, but most of all, I had feelings for a guy who share the same feelings. My life was basically perfect. I didn’t even care if we were together because I know I like him, and being great friends was something I would have NEVER expected from the first day of school. I still remember that text he sent me: Yeah, I trust you with pretty much everything. Now.. *sigh.. he doesn’t tell me anything anymore. It’s like what we had last year was just gone. As if nothing happened. I might have looked okay on the outside, but on the inside, I am dying to build our friendship back to last year, but what’s sad is that I know it won’t change. He said what he had to say, and nothing’s going to change his mind. I know there’s no point, and I shouldn’t be mad at him in the first place, because I was the cause of all this downhill fall. I just don’t know what to live for anymore? I basically don’t have much much friends anymore, and now I don’t have a friend anymore who I can tell EVERYTHING too even if it’s just saying what I’m doing. My family is basically a wreck, although that was a long time ago.. but last year, everything seemed perfect, just cause he came into my life.. I had no idea how important he is to me and how he have impacted my life that I would write poems for main lesson about him. That’s just insanity. I really miss how things used to be.