Just made me 11:11 wish =/ why can’t those fucking come true? I’m so tired or being sick and I just want to be okay again. Okay for once this year. I don’t know. Today started out nice but why does facebook always change my mood at the end of the day? I don’t even know why I check his facebook like every 5 minute when I know nothing has change. I don’t want the picture to be true, but I click on his name every time just to look at the picture. I don’t even know why I’m doing it. Is it because I’m curious or is it because I need to give up? This whole thing seems like a dream to me. I just can’t picture it as reality. I don’t want to get hurt, but at the same time, I really want to be cared for, to be loved by him. Like the old days.
So I should actually be doing my main lesson project right now, but I’ve been procrastinating for lke 2 hours ago. This week has been such an awkward week cause everyone’s basically out of it. Everyone’s either gone cause of sickness, eurthymy, or basketball. It’s kinda cool, and now that soccer is starting, I feel different. sorta. in a way. LOL. so i had tutoring on monday, and then i ushered at the eurthymy performance on tuesday. haha. john came too. he almost fell asleep too, super cute. HAHA. no practice yesterday or today. we had our chalk talk. So yeah, today. It was an alright day. I liked my outfit though. LOL. well do it was a pretty chill day since everyone was gone. During art, Mr. Wong gave us study hall which was amazing. So we were changing rooms, Eli grabbed my hand. He basically held it for like 5 seconds at least. Afterwards, I was like O.O woah. I swore I was over him. He’s only a friend and he has a girlfriend now. Like damn. Seriously? Again? IDK, it was weird. But study hall was super fun though. Gotta love those guys :) David Schulkin, Parry Heavlin, and Henry Carges. HAHA, they made my day, but now I just can’t shake off that feeling if I still really like him or not? ehh =/ too much on my mind, too tired to write.
kinda bummed out that i didnt get my rose today :( LOL. i know he ordered it, but it never came. wtffff. but kenny made my day today though. he bought himself a rose but it never came too. it was sooo funny but kinda sad at the same time. oh wells, john’s note did almost make me tear up too ;)
Dear crystal, Thanks for putting up with my horrendous humor. Hopefully i will get the honor of spending more time with you in the future and ( if i am really lucky) get to hear your beautiful laugh and see you gleeful smile. John
LOL. it was super cute when he asked if i wanted the rose i gave him. haha. yeah, he’s super cool .