So it’s currently 10:58, procreating on my hw cus spanish is just so dry. two tests tomorrow until i’m officially done with all my work before spring break! yeeeeeee boy! SAT scores come in tomorrow. yikessssssssssss! =/ gonna be a rough night. trying to squeeze in every last detail before the test tomorrow. all nighter here we go!
Soooooo the SAT scores come out in exactly a week…. i’m actually a lot freaked out then i thought i would. idk, i just wanna do at least decent on it so i can be happy that i did better than my practices. i know i’ll prob have to take it again, but i just want the reassurance of being able to say “well better than the last”. i can already imagine myself being hell down and depressed when it’s lower. thats what i don’t want to happen, and its making me super duper anxious. i don’t know exactly what I’m feeling and just too tired to try to think of words to put it together. praying for a good score =/
but anyways… got a new macbook pro =) hehehhee and i start work tmr at CPMC. hehehee and spring break in a week! Vegas and SoCal! Checking out USC, UCI, UCLA, and APU! and having a nice dinner with vivian and randy! can’t wait! but that means I’m closer to starting another Carini class. just shoot me now. like literally. i cannot take another Carini class anymore. I’m out. ughhhhhhhhh
Day after day I always think in my head what’s going on and how I’m gonna write it down on here. Its a good way to try to gather all my thoughts and try to find all the right words to say even though I’m always too tired to actually type it up every night. This is another reason why I don’t do the 365(+1) project. Lolol. Well I’ve found myself under depression lately with a hint of love. Idk Ive always been kinda insecured but not to the point where I’m going to hurt myself or anything. I just feel really empty sometimes where even though everything is going my way, I find a way to doubt myself and think about the what if’s. Idk like I wanna get outta here just cus I’m soooo sick of the same people. However I don’t wanna grow up and get away from my family. They are the best thing that’s ever happened to me but I’m just so tired of this environment I’m stuck in, constantly trying to find where I belong and how I’m going to move on into the future. Idk I guess I’m just always over thinking. It’s because I constantly feel empty and mood less that leads me to all these thoughts and being depressed. I don’t know. I haven’t had a genuine friend in a long time and I long for it. I long for the day when I’m full of motivation to achieve whatever i want to and have a best friend with me along the way.